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Principles of Rewriting
Figure 5-4.  Our  Navy  excerpt.

Journalist 3 & 2 - Introduction to Journalism and other reporting practices
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TRANSFORMING  INFORMAL  REPORTS Another  reason  for  rewrite  is  to  turn  an  informal report, such as telephoned information, into a properly written news story. Cooperation between the JO in the office and the JO on the scene is important to the Navy, especially during times   of   fast-breaking   news   events,   such   as   those experienced  during  a  major  accident  or  a  natural disaster. The   initial   release   in   these   cases   is   generally compiled   by   one   person   who   receives   reports telephoned by reporters in the field. To make a single, comprehensive  release,  the  office-bound  JO  adds background   material   available.   in   office   files   and sometimes  works  with  material  brought  back  from interviews by other public affairs personnel. Other routine news stories are handled in much the same  fashion,  without  the  hectic  atmosphere  and pressure   of   disaster   stories.   For   example,   the command’s  MWR  petty  officer  maybe  the  public  affairs office correspondent for athletic events. That does not necessarily  mean  the  correspondent  brings  a  finished story  to  the  public  affairs  office,  but  rather,  the correspondent telephones a contact there and reports the details of some sports event, and the JO turns that report into  a  professional  release  for  local  media  and  the command newspaper. with that in the general release — playing up the local aspect — and you will have a story of interest to local LOCALIZING Public  affairs  offices  receive  news  from  a  variety  of people and places. News releases from the DoD, DON, weapons  manufacturers,  shipyards,  aircraft  manu- facturers  and  other  outlets  provide  good  sources  for outside  news.  However,  this  news  is  usually  broad  in scope and slanted toward a general market. Therefore, it   will   require   a   certain   degree   of   refinement   and localization to meet the needs of your local readership. When these releases are rewritten, the local angle should be introduced in the lead and the more general aspects   minimized.   For   example,   suppose   you   are attached to a naval air station and receive a handout from an  aircraft  manufacturer  stating  that  a  new  type  of aircraft is in production and will soon be made available to   the   Navy.   The   release   contains   a   wealth   of unclassified   information   about   the   plane   and   its potentialities. A little research on your part uncovers the fact that an aircraft squadron at your command will be one of the first squadrons in the Navy to receive and operate the new  planes.  You  can  now  combine  your  information readers. COMBINING STORIES In the case of combining stories, the rewriter often puts  two  or  more  stories  together  to  make  one.  The combination generally results in a roundup story with the  first  paragraph  carrying  a  combination  lead  to emphasize various news developments. An   example   might   be   a   combination   of   the following  stories: A  story  is  carried  in  the  local  paper  about  a hurricane that struck the area. A  news  release  is  issued  by  a  nearby  naval command  citing  several  men  assigned  to  that activity  who  aided  victims  of  the  disaster. Both  of  these  stories,  wrapped  up  with  a  fresh release  about  awards  for  heroism  presented  to  Navy personnel  by  the  mayor  of  the  nearby  town,  nets  the rewriter a multi-interest, highly readable story. SHIFTING EMPHASIS In Navy public affairs, it is standard policy to release the same story at the same time to all media. However, you will get better media mileage if you rewrite the same release  several  times  to  meet  the  needs  of  different media. Suppose you wanted to get a certain story published in a variety of publications, such as the local papers, Navy Times, Naval Aviation News,  one or more of the trade publications and several individuals’ hometown newspapers. In addition, you think the story is worthy of airtime on radio and television. Under normal circumstances, you cannot take the time to rewrite the same story several different ways and slant it to the particular needs of different media. Yet there are occasions when this is necessary, if you want to obtain maximum  coverage for a special type of story. When this is the case, you will have to keep rewriting 5-5







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