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Order of Sentences
Writing for the COs Signature

Journalist 1 & C - Advanced manual for Journalism and other reporting practices
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which ideas are arranged in  logical order,  leading to a conclusion  in  the  final  paragraph. Let us look at the size of the Navy business- management job. You have all, no doubt, thumbed through  a  mail  order  catalog  and  have  been impressed with the number of items available. You can buy tools, clothes, toys, drugs, stationery and all sorts  of  household  appliances  and  general  supplies. Actually the largest catalog carries around 100,000 different  articles. Let us compare this 100,000 with the range of items required by the Navy. In our catalogs we carry some 1,200,000 items–more than 10 times as many as you find in the largest commercial catalog. The Navy  supply  system  carries  everything  from  missile parts to brooms, electronic parts to potatoes and uniforms  to  medicines. We issue more than 20,000,000 items each year. To meet these demands, the Navy alone carries an inventory of around .5 billion. In other words, within the total defense supply operations, the Navy portion alone is big business. Measured in terms of dollars, it is twice as large as the entire General Motors industrial complex. This  example  demonstrates  several  things.  It  shows how  facts  can  be  advanced  to  support  a  conclusion.  In this case, the conclusion that the Navy supply system is big  business  is  supported  by  evidence  of  (1)  the  range of items carried, (2) the volume of supplies issued and (3) the size of the inventory. This is also a good example of the use of comparison (Navy supply compared to a commercial  mail-order  catalog)  to  help  the  reader visualize  the  facts  offered.  Emphasis  is  heightened  in paragraph  three  by  contrast  presented  in  parallel structures.  The  final  paragraph  illustrates  the  summing up and a statement of the conclusion drawn from the evidence. .  Time-honored  rules  of  rhetoric  have  established that for emphasis an item should stand first or last. This has been regarded as true whether one is speaking of the sentence, the paragraph or the piece of writing as a whole. When we think of  order of emphasis we have this principle in mind. Whether the items placed first and last are remembered longest is open to question, but certainly, the placing of anything, either at the beginning or at the end, gives it emphasis at the moment. Which of  the  two  positions  will  give  the  greater  emphasis depends  upon  the  individual  situation. In news writing, as you well know, the lead para- graph  is  the  most  important  because  people  want  the news quickly and often do not read through to the end of the story. Orators need a strong beginning and a strong ending. The important thing is that the writer remembers that position is a device for gaining emphasis and he should consciously use it. WRITING THE PUBLIC AFFAIRS LETTER The composition of a public affairs letter is an area where you have no gauge or formula to guide you. Every letter differs with the situation. However, there are some important  pointers  to  remember. Try to visualize the public affairs letter as a news story, and get right to the point. Tell the reader what he wants to know simply and clearly. As in a news story, the information most important to the reader should go into  your  lead. Actually, the biggest battle is for you to get away from  some  of  the  poor  letter-writing  habits  picked  up  in the belief that they are sound “business-like” habits. The following  are  some  examples: l  Lengthy  and  unnecessary  acknowledgements The person whose letter you are answering knows what he wrote. And he knows when he wrote it. Too often we waste time with long introductions like this: “This will acknowledge receipt of your letter of 1 May 1993 in which you requested the services of a band, color guard and marching unit to appear in your Fourth of July parade in Hialeah, Florida, and offering  to  reimburse  the  Navy  for  the  cost  of transportation  and  billeting.” What does the reader know so far? Nothing. He wants to know, “Am I getting the band?” The previous acknowledgement might be rewritten like this: “Thank  you  for  your  letter  of  May  1.  Your interest in having Navy participation in your July 4 parade is certainly appreciated by this  command. At present, we foresee no problems in fulfilling your request. “Further details will be. . .“ .  Needless  words  and  information Edit your letters just as you would a news release. Cut out unnecessary words and phrases. Stay away from words and phrases that hedge because they have the appearance of your being uncertain or unwilling to commit  yourself.  Some  members  of  this  group: 1-18







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